Love Me Tonight
by TFRiD Queen
Summary: When Adam and Sio reunite at last in San Francisco, Adam must confirm their relationship, as well as just what Asao is to Sio, once and for all. Eventual mature content; warning, deals with depression/anxiety/mental health conditions.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Takes place right after Adam and Sio reunite in San Francisco. Eventual mature themes, deals heavily with depression/anxiety.**

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He wasn't quite sure what to make of it, the second the fighting had ceased and he was just about to grab her and scoop her into his arms—but instead she pushed past him, running towards someone who must've been just as, if not more important—yet who could it be—

 _"_ _Asao-san!"_

But of course. In the end, it was always about her, wasn't it? The friend she so boldly declared she had to save, despite only have met for all of three hours beforehand—"because I haven't given her my email yet"—and was one of the biggest reasons she continued to fight, no matter how hard or painful it was. He tried not to let disappointment show on his face though it must've, especially after he witnessed the two girls' tearful reunion, and Gandhi gave him a questioning, if not concerned look—though he was respectful enough to not say anything more.

No…it was natural, of course, Perfectly normal, that Sio would be eagerly rushing to see her friend; she'd been thought dead, had caused the sniper to nearly lose her mind and body, so her reaction to a revelation like this was all but to be expected…wasn't it? His mind couldn't help but compare her reactions to his appearance with that of Asao's; she'd been shocked and overjoyed of course, and even commented on his scraggly stubble—but she hadn't run into his arms, crying tears of joy (but then again they had been in the middle of a fight, there were no room for pleasantries like that his logical brain argued) though she had shed a few tears when he told her, 'let's go home' and she responded with an enthusiastic 'yeah'.

 _You're in a battle_ , his brain stated, _what kind of fool would spill their hearts out when they're about to be gutted like a fish?_

 _But who was the one she ran to after all the fighting was done?_

 _That's only because she knew you were safe already! Nobody even knew Asao would still be alive—!_

Adam had to take a few deep breaths to calm himself. Technically, according to the doctor's orders, he wasn't considered 100% fit for duty yet—either mentally or physically. The fact he'd been able to manifest his AU weapons at all, after all those failed attempts…Nightingale mentioned the power of emotions on their way over, but who knew if he'd really regained them, or if this was just a temporary fix.

"Jack? You feeling all right?" Gandhi finally gave him a slight nudge, a look of concern on his face. "You're not injured, are you? Rushing into battle like that…and without any of your armor or a helmet! Last thing we need is another case of radiation poisoning…"

"Yeh, yeh…I'm fine, don't worry. It's just scratches, nothin' major," he muttered, a hand absently running along the many nicks and abrasions that were inevitable, when one was fighting in nothing more than loungewear. "I…let's get back, we shouldn't stay here any longer than necessary…"

"…You're right. I'll go get Sio-chan and Galiko." The Indian wanted to say something more, but somehow it never came out. The rest was little more than a blur in his mind as every single holder trudged back to the awaiting helicopters, Adam sitting in near-silence and observing Sio and Asao with a numbed mind, the two determined to catch up despite the chopper's roar. He didn't feel much either when they landed back at the _Yavin_ , Sio still insisting on heading into the medical bay with her friend even though she needed a check-up herself.

She had said many times over Asao-san was her best friend…and though she never said anything else, Adam often suspected those feelings were stronger than that; or rather would have become stronger, had she stayed behind as a normal schoolgirl, clumsily-but-quietly developing that bond in that quirky, adorable manner of hers. But instead, she gave up everything she had to risk her life and fight alongside them—alongside _him_.

 _But what if Sio loves Asao more?_

It was funny how one single thought could unravel the euphoria he'd experienced so quickly. His whole body seemed to be reacting violently as that thought implanted itself deeper in his mind, changing his mood and physical state within split-seconds—first a flash of cold sweat, followed by a deep, all-consuming fear that caused him to literally shake and heave for air as his chest tightened and his heart started hammering like a machine gun, each beat so strong he feared it would burst out of his chest. _No…that's not true!_ But the more he tried to resist that idea, the more it taunted him; toyed with his emotions and insecurities. There was no guarantee Sio would like him forever—this was the real world, not some fairy-tale that told of star-crossed lovers or other silly ideas like that. It had only been chance he and Sio had met and gotten so close; just a chance, statistics and numbers that she had been in Taiwan, at that moment he'd been sent to fight the Objects, and turned out to be Oda Nobunaga's reincarnation.

If you took even one of those pieces away, who was to say they'd be where they were, now? And who was to say there wasn't someone just as suitable, or perhaps even better, for her?

"Jack! Are you feeling ill?" He jerked at both the sound of the voice and the hand on his shoulder, Gandhi pulling back in apology at having startled the other man. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you like that…but you should see a doctor yourself. You don't look so good…antsy and jumpy, to boot."

He tried to say something, to get his voice to work and tell the Indian to piss off or at least to leave him alone and take care of himself—but for some reason his voice wasn't working; his mouth was moving but no noise came out, Gandhi's expression growing increasingly worried as Adam felt like he was about to be consumed by fear itself. His hands were clammy as he gripped the wall, dizzy from the sudden rush of blood leaving his head and gasping for air, ears filled with a strange static that made it hard to hear his friend's worried queries.

" _Adam!_ Hang on, let's—!" Without another word the other member of the Second Platoon had propped himself under one arm and was steering him towards an empty conference room, not even to the medical bay or one of their private quarters. Playful and laid-back he may have been, even Gandhi had experienced and seen enough to know what the onset of a panic attack looked like. "All right, just breathe Adam, deep breaths—whatever it is that's got you wound up, I can guarantee it's not the end of the world—!"

"—No, you don't—it's—she—!"

"—Shh shh, don't think about that—just focus on your breathing, yeah? Take a breath, okay now let it out, all right that's it, you're doing well, that's it, yeah, just like that…" A hand reached out to steady him as Adam somehow sat down though he wasn't aware of it, chest heaving until the worst of the emotional frenzy calmed down…somewhat. Even so, just the slightest thought of anything to do with Sio or Asao sent a lightening bolt throughout his system, his nerves feeling like they were on fire and threatening to pull him down all over again. "That's it, good…" Gandhi patted his back, being careful to not make any sudden movements or loud noises, given how on-edge the other man was. "Better now?"

"Yeh, yeh…better," Adam managed to choke out, half-nodding but not really paying full attention to the other. Under normal circumstances, there was no way in hell he'd be letting Mirza, of all people, play the role of therapist for him, but right now his mind was in such disarray that he clung to any form of stability he could, just as long as he could stop being so afraid…

Fear. It was a funny emotion, neither good nor bad, if you really thought about it. At times, it could be a fair enough motivator—and more than once had given him the rush he'd needed to pull himself together on the field, to react faster than he'd ever thought to slice the enemy before it could get him. It could even be a good thing—the fear and nervousness he'd felt that night on the hospital roof when she wanted to 'borrow' him for a minute had been nerve-wracking anticipation but also exciting. But this, now…this was the type of fear that held no rational logic, not like when they were face-to-face with an enemy they'd never seen before. Oddly enough, this was probably fear in its purest form; no specific cause, but just a deep, all-consuming vortex that overwhelmed every other thought and emotion, this sense of _something just wasn't right._

Adam didn't even notice the glass of water until it was right by his hand, Mirza apparently having gotten it during his minor breakdown. "Here, drink some water; you all right now?" A slight nod, and the other responded in kind. "Good, all right, that's a good start…" With a slight tremble he set the glass back down, the fear having receded somewhat through a combination of Mirza's presence and sheer willpower on his part. "So…you got your powers back." Another nod. "That's good; I mean, I know it was bothering you about sitting on the sidelines…but still, you should take it easy. No need rush straight back onto the field. Newton and I have gotten pretty good working with Tell…of course, it's still nothing on the good old days of the Second Platoon, but we're holding out just fine." Another pause, as if Mirza was debating on whether he should really ask.

"…You went to save Sio, didn't you? Somehow, you just knew she needed you…just like during Stone Forest." There was a nostalgic look from the Indian, not judging but rather wistful. "You two…are really something else, you know? I'm not sure how to explain it but…I guess it's just a feeling, that you two will always be bound together. Ah, I know you don't really believe in stuff like fate and all that, but—"

"…How are you so sure." The Indian stopped for a bit, giving the other a curious look. "Everyone…keeps saying how we look good together, or how they knew all along that we would end up together…" Hands slowly curling into fists, Adam having to restrain himself from digging his nails in too hard as to draw blood. "But…how do you know for sure?"

Dark eyes paused for a second, considering everything that Adam had just said and what had happened over the past few months. "…Are you having doubts about your relationship with Sio? Is it because of what you…did?"

At the mention of that disastrous mission his arm jerked unconsciously, the right having to clutch the left in order to stop it from spasming uncontrollably. Still he couldn't get over what he had to do…even though it had been necessary…even though it had actually been successful, and she recovered just fine. Though he'd managed to rally himself this time when Sio had somehow sent a part of her own soul into his, Adam knew that it would take a great while before the trauma would ease. The doctors had warned him PTSD was not curable in the common sense; likely it would always be a part of him, but it could be managed, and its effects minimized over time.

To Mirza's credit, he didn't interrupt Adam while he was trying to gather his thoughts, instead waiting patiently until the spike of anxiety subsided again. "…Maybe. It's true that I'm scared I'll hurt her again, intentional or not. But also…"

That scene replayed itself in his mind, over and over again: Sio's look of shock when she heard who it was. Her pushing past him after the battle as if nobody else mattered, and then their tearful embrace…he couldn't remember the last time she'd looked so relieved, or happy.

It _hurt_. No matter how logical it was or how much he tried to convince himself otherwise, there was no denying the ache that crushed his chest each time he thought back to that moment. A long, shaky breath drew in, Adam feeling the tremors unconsciously starting up again, but he just had to tell someone—about his deepest fears before they tore him apart completely—

"—I think, she…and Asao…"

The sentence was unfinished, but it didn't need to be. Mirza, for all his womanizing behaviors and laissez-faire attitude about relationships, could draw stunningly accurate conclusions from the slightest of connections. And in all honesty, everyone was aware of just how strong the sniper's feelings were towards her best friend: _'_ _Not even I know what I'll do if Asao-san is hurt',_ she'd threatened, back when they had just met in Taiwan.

"…You fear that she likes Asao more. You think that ultimately, she wants to be with Asao…instead of you." Mirza answered at last, calmly and quietly. Adam could not respond, other than turn his head slightly to the side. "Hmm…while I can see why you would think that, somehow, I don't believe it as strongly as you do. Or rather, as much as you think you do." The white-haired holder gave a slight glance, perhaps in surprise but didn't say anything. "Even if Sio is attracted to girls, I don't think that means her feelings for Asao are the same as her feelings for you. In my honest opinion…if you asked me who I thought Sio loved the most, I'd have to say that's you."

He must've looked surprised, or at least done something, for Mirza's eyes were sparkling a bit with warm amusement. "You don't think so? Well, I think that's just the anxiety talking right now, not your true heart; sure, she and Asao certainly are cozy, but there's nothing unusual about intimate, platonic friendships. I mean, if you're worried about physical attraction, I'm not really getting that vibe…"

"…But what if that's…better, for her?"

"…What do you mean?"

Adam bit his lips. Though he appreciated Mirza's perspective, it was both frightening and embarrassing to be spilling his most vulnerable thoughts in such a manner, after such a trying day. But he had to admit, it was helping to calm him down, and at this point, there was no use in trying to take back all that he'd just said minutes earlier.

"What if…she's just, attracted to me physically? Maybe it's just some, some…schoolgirl infatuation, I don't know—but even though I know…what you said is true, I can't help but think…what if she just thinks of this thing with me as a, fling…and her feelings for Asao are, more pure…better, than whatever it is she thinks about me? I-I mean, right after the battle…it was like I didn't even exist, she just cared about seeing Asao right away…"

Even as he was saying all this, Adam was slowly becoming aware that he might be sounding a tad ridiculous. Certainly his friend was thinking the same, judging from the way his lips were quirking just a touch, an eyebrow raised in dry amusement at the Briton's outburst.

"Ah, Adam…you know, I don't mean to downplay or patronize your concern—because they are real concerns, and no one should take them lightly. But, how should I put this…" Mirza put his hands together, deep in thought for a change.

"I think, your insecurities are not unusual; they are what anyone in a relationship goes through, wondering if 'this is the one', or what the other person really thinks. Sure, being in DOGOO and all that might change some things, intensify some stuff, but ultimately, it's _okay_. Put it this way, it's _normal_ to experience these types of doubts: it's okay to wonder about Sio's orientation, or the future of your relationship with her. Your feeling hurt by her behavior is totally valid, the same as you feeling guilty about hurting her. You're not the only one, Adam; perhaps it might just seem so in such a setting like this, and well…forgive my impudence, but this is your first relationship…isn't it?"

Despite everything, Adam felt his cheeks grow warm, which was all the answer Mirza needed. Sex and relationships…he'd heard them all, every piece of dirty gossip back in the halls of secondary but somehow could never be bothered to be concerned about it until after he left and found himself involved with a petite, Japanese schoolgirl-sniper.

"Well, nothing wrong with that," Mirza answered cheerfully, patting the other's arm reassuringly. "Look, as someone who's been in a couple of…relationships by now, I can tell you this much: I'm not a fortune-teller, and nobody can tell you whether or not you and Sio are destined for each other, or where you two will end up—nothing in life is ever for certain, and you'll just have to accept that. But, there is also nothing wrong with having physical attraction, alongside emotional needs. Even if Sio might have a crush on her friend, it's not more 'pure' or 'better' than what you have with her; you can't compare the two like that. So what if her initial attraction to you was based on physical appearances? If you ask me or anyone else, I'd say it's pretty hard to deny that she cares deeply about you, regardless of how she might view Asao. And you…do care about her, don't you?"

"Of course! She's the most important person…no, the most important thing—"

Mirza held up a hand before Adam could launch into another fit. "See, there you go. If you didn't feel so strongly for her, you wouldn't be this worked up, would you? I doubt you'd be this distressed if physical attraction was the only thing keeping you two together…"

"No…"

"Ultimately, what the two of you want, is up to the both of you…not some anxiety-ridden fantasies. And to do that, you need to _communicate_ ," the Indian emphasized, "as in, you should probably tell her all this that you just told me, instead of keeping it inside yourself until you're fit to burst."

"…Huh?" Perhaps it was just the stress and exhaustion of the day, or Mirza using one-too-many words that he usually didn't use, but Adam could only stare blankly at the Indian, even though he understood the words logically. Talk to Sio? About his feelings? In hindsight it made perfect sense, but for some reason it just never seemed like something he should do until it was spelled out for him.

"Well, yes," The Indian replied with a mild look of concern. "Although I'm sure you're more aware of it than I, I think it's obvious that while Sio-chan may be a brilliant strategist, she's still quite inexperienced when it comes to matters of the heart. I'd bet anything she's not even aware that her actions, e.g., leaving you out in the cold while doting on Asao, are hurting you more than she thinks. My guess is that she's just assuming you're okay with taking a backseat, when in reality you aren't. And in order to correct that assumption, you need to tell her that you are in fact not okay with being ignored and are quite upset."

"Isn't that…rather selfish?" Adam frowned a little at the words. He wasn't objecting to Mirza's advice about the need for a little chat—one that was long-overdue, now that he thought about it—but just imagining himself complaining to her that he felt like she wasn't being affectionate enough, or paying enough attention to him… "…I don't want to come off as a, a….bellyaching child…"

Wasn't that how it was supposed to be, when you loved someone? Devote your entire being to their happiness, to silently bear whatever burden upon your own self? Adam had always thought that, as long as Sio was happy, he'd be all right with whatever she did, regardless of how he felt. And now it seemed, perhaps that wasn't the way things worked…

"So? What's wrong with being selfish?" Adam looked up in a bit of surprise. "I mean, relationships are a two-way street, not just one person giving all the time. You're willing to do anything for Sio, even if it means setting aside your own happiness; which is fine in some cases, and perhaps even admirable. But if you don't learn to set boundaries and start paying attention to what _you_ want, what _you_ need from her, then I can guarantee you this relationship will not last."

"…" There was nothing more Adam could say to counter Mirza's words, leaving him to brood silently. What it was he wanted…some things he could name straight away, the shallow and obvious ones: going on a date, hanging out during downtime, playing video games and maybe even the occasional snogging.

But those were just physical wants, material needs in a material world. The things that mattered the most…exchanging words across tired pillows after a long day, a much-needed hug after a hard mission, and just her presence…he needed to know, had to confirm, that no matter what happened from here on out, they'd have each other.

To be free of these insecurities at last, and have solid faith in their relationship…

"…Adam? You're heading back?" Mahesh raised an eyebrow at the other's sudden departure, but inwardly was glad to see that familiar spark back in his friend's eye.

"…In a manner of speaking. I've got to go find her, first…"

A small smile sat on the Indian's face. "If I were you, I'd clean up a bit first, then check the hospital wing."

Adam only nodded slightly in thanks, unable to say what he really felt but somehow he knew Mirza understood.

"Oh, and one last thing, Muirhead: don't worry. I have a feeling, it'll all work out. Just trust your instincts."

Even his right eye twitched slightly, and he swore he could hear Nightingale's whispers as he sought out the base's hospital.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Eventual mature content; none yet this chapter. I really apologize for the delay, not only with this story but moreso my (many) other long-running ones...suffice to say, I think I'm about to reach the end of my all-out, creative AdaSio spurt where I used to be able to churn out literally any story at any given time. I still love Nobunagun and AdaSio especially; but, as time has passed, it's impossible to keep that kind of momentum going forever, or else I'll burn out completely. So, while I will still be writing and aiming to update/finish all my ongoing stories...it will unfortunately be at a much slower pace. I really appreciate all my readers who have/are still reading, and especially those of you who leave me comments; I cannot emphasize how much it means to me and how much it continues to inspire me.**

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"Ah...Sio-chan, shouldn't you get some rest now? I know the doctors said you're fine and all, but..."

"Nuh uh! We're finally reunited after all this time, and after all, th-that..." The girl's voice trembled, but she resolutely shook her head. "No...I'm not going to let our time together go to waste, Asao-san."

Despite her own morales, the bedridden girl couldn't help but smile. "Sio-chan...you really are a good person, you know? I'm glad we met..."

"M, Me too, Asao..." Sniffling, Sio tried her best to not just burst into tears all over again. To say that today had been a trying day would be a disservice to all the holders and members of DOGOO who'd rallied to help her out. From Galileo, who'd bravely accompanied her and told her how there was a chance Asao was alive, to their pilot Derrin Tanaka, who maneuvered them through the surprise EIO attack and then lead the evacuation of the refugees in San Francisco...

And all the holders who showed up just as things were getting dire, with just her and Jack—no, Adam. Somehow, though not understanding it herself, Sio had been able to reach him; to communicate to him that she _needed_ him and she needed him _now_. Whether it had all been in her head or if she actually did send a part of her soul into his mental space... It was mostly a blur in her mind even as she tried her hardest to recall how exactly she'd even managed it: a swirl of intense emotions, determination, and their inexplicable bond that had formed before she was even aware of it.

 _'Was that...because of my e-gene? Even though Oda Nobunaga's power is much less than it used to be...'_

Unconsciously her hand moved over her heart, the scars still visible. How ironic that she was now sitting and chatting with the one person who had caused this whole SNAFU, however unintentional it might have been. _'Because I thought Asao was dead, because I couldn't accept that, and I pushed everyone away, I...I...'_

"Sio-chan? Are you all right?" Her head jerked up at the sound of Asao's voice. "I really appreciate you staying up with me, and believe me, I...want to spend as much time together as we can too. But it won't be good if you push yourself too hard and collapse from exhaustion." Asao gave her a stern look, even though she was the one who was suffering from a now-terminal case of radiation poisoning.

An unfortunate side effect, from the government's ill-fated attempt to use nuclear bombs to destroy the EIOs before San Francisco could be fully evacuated. If only Sio had invited Asao to come with them back to the _Yavin_ , or tell her to get out of there before it was too late...but what had happened, happened. There was no use in thinking about all the could'ves, should'ves, would'ves—what mattered was the now, and at the very least, Sio was grateful they could at least spend what little time remained together.

"Well, if you say so, Asao...I guess I could use a shower," she tried to give a smile, but the tremor in her lips did not escape her friend. "Oh Asao... _I'm so sorry...!_ " She buried her head on the sheets and sobbed, even as Asao gently combed her hair. "If only I'd paid more attention...! If only I could have saved you sooner...!"

"Sio-chan...!" Sighing, the girl could only try and soothe her friend with gentle pats. "You did save me, Sio. If you and Jack and everybody else hadn't shown up when they did...now that I think about it, this is the third time you've saved me, isn't it? First it was Taiwan, then at the hospital in Japan, and now in San Francisco..."

"B-But, you, you're...!" Sio shook her head violently, unable to voice out the inevitable even though she knew her friend was doomed to an untimely death.

"I know, Sio. And...I'm not going to pretend that I'm not scared, or sad," a tear ran down Asao's face, but her voice remained steady. "But to be honest, I didn't even think I was going to make it this far; everyone at the camp said I'd been exposed for too long without proper protection, and especially with all those monsters roaming about, I honestly half-expected to not even make it out at all. So to be able to be here, now, in this nice bed and seeing you and my family and friends...that's more than I could ask for, and I'm truly grateful. So please, Sio...don't blame yourself anymore, okay?"

Sucking in a deep breath, Sio forced herself to nod, to calm down somewhat even though everything was still a maelstrom inside. No, Asao was right; even if their reunion was to be short-lived, at least they did meet again, and at least Asao could spend her remaining days being surrounded by loved ones in a comfortable environment, instead of a cold, dingy refugee camp.

"Yeah...yeah, you're right, Asao-san. I-I'm...I should let you get some rest, too. And I'll go take that shower now, I guess..."

Her friend smiled. "That a girl, Sio. Don't worry, I'll be fine. Oh, although if you wouldn't mind doing me a favor...Jack-san, when you see him, please tell him thank you for me, too. Not just for helping me...but for helping you, too."

Sio was a bit puzzled by Asao's last sentence, but nodded in promise anyway. Speaking of which...

 _'Adam...we need to talk, don't we...'_ As if finding Asao hadn't been enough of a hurdle, there was the other person whom she needed to fix things with. She'd been shocked he'd actually shown up: wings, knife and all, neither of them wearing their proper gear but none of that mattered when it was do-or-die. The flood of emotions she'd felt—gratitude, joy, hope, and love... _Love._ She gulped nervously as her body flushed; for some reason thinking about it now made her feel oddly nervous...and not in a good way. The battle didn't leave much time for chit-chat, except for his signature quip about how he was saving her butt once more, and how they should go home afterwards, together. _'Yeah, and the first thing that popped out of my mouth was how he grew a beard,'_ Sio griped to herself, suddenly feeling embarrassed at making such a trite comment in a serious moment. _'God, Sio...why are you always saying things like this...'_

Now that she thought about it, she hadn't seen him since the battle ended. As soon as it was clear, she'd run up to Asao and flung her arms around the girl's thin shoulders, crying and laughing all the while. As she replayed that scene in her mind however, her stomach started knotting itself as she remembered Adam opening his mouth, as if he was about to tell her something, but she'd simply pushed past him without a response or even a glance.

A wave of fear washed over her and she had to pause for a second. _'Oh man, oh man...! I really messed up back there, didn't I?'_ Trying not to hyperventilate, she convinced herself he understood; that he knew Asao was important to her and she didn't mean to push him away like that, because they could always talk later, he was always going to be around while Asao very well might no longer be—

"Gyaa!" Sio nearly crashed to the floor as she bumped into another body right outside the showers. "Ow, sorry...I-I didn't mean to...A, Adam...?"

She stared, he stared. Though his hair was now clean and damp from the shower, she couldn't help but notice his scraggly beard remained.

"You...didn't shave?" Once again, her mouth moved before her brain—but she could tell Adam was slightly amused, by the way his eyes crinkled up ever so slightly.

"Hmm...thought about it, but I figured 's not worth the effort right now," he shrugged slightly, running a finger over the stubble. "Though, I have to say I never expected you 'f all folks to make such a fuss over it...does it really bother you that much?"

" _Ch, chigau!_ It's not that! I-I was, just...well, it's just you look so...different," she mumbled, suddenly feeling very shy and embarrassed. Why did she always say childish, spur-of-the-moment things in the middle of a serious discussion? No wonder Adam still treated her like a brat at times; she might as well still be one.

His eyes took on a somber mood and Sio felt her heart drop. "Really. How so." To her great surprise he lowered himself down to her level, Sio wanting to but unable to avert from his sorrowful gaze.

"I-I, u-uh..." She gulped in nervousness but steeled herself to not shy away. "I-I mean, it's not...bad or anything...b, but just...you look so much older...it, somehow...makes you look really sad..."

She hadn't even gotten the last word out before something wet slipped from her eyes, Sio gasping in surprise. When did she start crying...or rather, why was she even crying in the first place?

There was a deep sigh, and she felt herself trembling even more. "'Sad', 'ey...well, guess same could be said for you, squirt." A hand gently ruffled her long white locks, but the tears did not stop. "You were so despondent for so long...and then all that shit happened...it made me real sad, too."

"I-I'm sorry... _I'm sorry—!_ " And she burst into tears, sobbing violently and heaving as Adam held her tightly, Sio finally letting out all the tears she'd held back, back from even before she found Asao again. "I-I-I, I didn't, m-m-mean to, to..." She tried to get her words out, to tell him she was sorry for pushing him away when he'd only been trying to help and she didn't mean to put him through all that, but the only thing she could choke out were half-hearted wails, barely able to catch her breath.

Adam said nothing, only patted her on the back and slowly rocked her as Sio cried and cried, until he felt surely his heart would break, as well. To see her in such despair...a pain ached in his chest, but he fought it back down. Sio needed him right now; whatever qualms he had about her behavior once again were pushed to the back of his mind. Even though he knew Gandhi was right, that she needed to know how he truly felt...something always held him back.

"Hey...there there, it's all right now, ye? Shh..." Gradually her sobs were reduced to a whimper, interrupted by the occasional hiccup. "Look, Sio...listen, there's...something I want to tell you. Well actually, make that a load of things," he muttered, wiping up the last of her tears with his shirt. "I know it's a lot to be asking you, 'specially now, but...I don't think I can wait much longer."

"M-Mmnn...I, I...understand. I'm...I'll be okay, Adam..." One last, shuddering sigh and Sio straightened herself, determined to do more than just cry all day. "I, wanted to talk to you too, s-so...let's, talk now."

Adam nodded, and the two headed for her quarters in silence.

* * *

It felt like nothing had changed, yet everything had. Their appearances, mood, least of all this strange, unspeakable 'thing' that was now hanging in the air. Sio stood awkwardly against the wall, while Adam slouched opposite of her. Neither focused on each other, but rather on the monotonous, trivial details that usually went unseen: how the curtains were still closed since the last time she'd been in here, the desk that held a scattering of survivor's lists and the bed unmade, even after all this time. Both of them knew it had to be done, yet neither could be the one to start the conversation.

"...So, how's Asao doing? She seems all right, last I heard anyway." For reasons unknown to himself, Adam heard his voice query about her friend—though in his mind, he couldn't help but view the girl with a sort of feared jealousy.

"Ah, Asao-san...w, well, she's...okay now, but..." Sio suddenly stiffened and Adam felt a tremor of fear working its way through his body, as well. "...Her condition is...pretty bad..."

"...I'm sorry." Adam whispered. Though Sio hadn't said anything more, her furrowed brows and inability to look at him confirmed what Nightingale already suspected: terminal radiation poisoning. Normally he would be offering some comforting words, even if it was just fluff, but right now his heart was pounding away in an unsettling a mix of relief and guilt.

 _Asao won't be around for much longer. You won't have to worry about competing for Sio's feelings._ The second the thought rose in his mind he felt ill to his stomach; that he could be so petty and insecure as to look forward to someone's death, nevermind her being Sio's best friend and the fact deep down, Adam harbored no ill-will towards Kaoru Asao. Perhaps Sio really did deserve Asao after all, a person who could be so selfless and pure and loving to wish nothing but the best for her true love, even in the throes of death—

"—Adam? Adam, are you okay?" Adam flinched at her sudden touch and Sio recoiled in surprise. "You, you don't look so good...do you feel okay? You're not feeling...ill, are you?" Her maroons were wide with concern, the girl no doubt immediately fearing the worst.

"No, I'm...I'm fine. Just...sorry, it's just..." There were so many reasons as to why things were so strained and awkward between them: how he'd nearly killed her in the previous mission, his inability to do anything but mope about while she bravely set out on her own, whether or not she truly loved him in the same way he did. "I'm sorry...I'm just not used to...feeling you again."

He hadn't meant anything more, only that the last time he'd held her it was to shove a blade through her heart—so being here right now and feeling her soft fingertips against his flesh, while soothing, also sent chills down his spine. Unconsciously the left arm shook, Adam quietly restraining it as Sio looked on in growing horror. "Don't worry about it...it's only, temporary...I'll get over it."

"...Adam..." Sio choked back a sob, but didn't cry. Of course he would be traumatized by that incident...for better or worse, she herself remembered very little; it all seemed more like a nightmare, with blurred emotions and images that changed every time she tried to remember more. But for him, the person who had to live through it all while she'd been recovering...silently she berated herself for so foolishly assuming they could immediately go back to how they were. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to—"

"—It's fine. It's not your fault; it'll just...take time," he breathed deeply as the arm stopped shaking. "Besides, I think it'll help if I...get used to being around you again. In a, you know, normal setting."

"R, Right..." But what could possibly be normal now, after all that? "...U-Um, A, Adam..." He gazed at her evenly, but somehow Sio felt more nervous instead. "Wh, when you came to...help me out...I, I never got to, thank you properly...I'm sorry..."

That wasn't exactly what she'd wanted to say; what she wanted to tell him, was that she was sorry she'd ignored him after the battle, but the words were stuck in her throat every single time.

"Oh...heh, honestly you don't have to thank me," he gave her a thin smile, "after all, it was your...message, that pulled me there, so..." He shrugged, not sure what else to say. "Plus, apparently Nostradamus foresaw this with that AU weapon of his—that's why everyone else showed up as well. It wasn't like I went sounding the alarm or anything."

There it was again, this avoidance of that crucial _thing_ that was suffocating them, condemning them to this uneasy truce. Why could she never say it...no, rather why did she always wait for him to make the first move, instead of taking the lead?

Enough was enough.

"A, Adam...l-listen, I...I'm, I'm sorry..." She heaved a sob but continued forward, not wanting to lose her courage. "Not just for, losing control and destroying a whole city, but I'm sorry...for, pushing you away...I-I didn't, mean to...ignore you...!" A cry broke free and the tears started to fall, but Sio didn't bother wiping them away.

"..." A knot was pulsing in his jaw as he watched her trying not to fall apart. How Adam wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her tight, tell her that everything was all right and he forgave her—because he always did, didn't he? Yet now he just stood there, watching while his heart argued with itself on what the right thing to do was.

What it was he really wanted to do.

"...Yeh. I know you didn't mean to...an' I understand why...but I gotta say, that was pretty low of you; giving me the silent treatment, turning away whenever I wanted t' talk or else charging recklessly onto the field, then yellin' at me to come save your arse...and after all that, you still wouldn't even give me a second to talk." He said all this without any malice or judgement, but words were still words. "I'm not going to lie...it hurts, Sio. It feels like you didn't— _don't_ , trust me...that, you just turn to me when it's...convenient for you.

Sio was sobbing by now, whether or not the last few sentences made their way through to her he didn't know, but it didn't matter; Adam had a feeling she knew all this, else why would she have sought him out in the first place?

"I-I know...I _know...!_ I'm sorry...I, I didn't...I, d-don't...!" Her whole body was shaking by now, the girl having collapsed onto the floor while Adam stood and watched. Even though it broke his heart to see her like this, to say such callous words to her...those feelings were eating him from the inside out. "I-I, I...am, really, th-the worst...th, the lowest..."

She'd said the same thing, during that fight when she almost let herself get caught in the EIO's destructive beam, if it hadn't been for his timely actions. _'I'm the worst; I don't deserve to live.'_ Just thinking about it now made his chest ache, the tremors of anxiety creeping up on him.

"No, Sio...just, stop saying that...!" Adam let out a shuddering breath, forcing his voice not to crack. "...It's as I told you, last time...that's not true at all. You're not the worst—you're _human_. You're _you_ , Sio Ogura. An' that means you'll make mistakes, and yeh, you did hurt people with your actions; same as I hurt you, by wallowing in my own misery and self-loathing. But you told me if I wanted to fix things, I should take responsibility for my actions...and so I am." Slowly he walked over to the prone figure hunched over on the floor, lifting her up and brushing away her tangled locks and tears even as she continued to cry. "Now you're the one who's got to take your own advice, instead of continuing to blame yourself."

She could only stare at him with teary maroons, unable to say anything except hiccups and wails. "I-I...I...mmm...s, so, sorry...o, ooh...b, but just, kn-kn-knowing, how much I—I hurt, y, you..." Gasping for breath, Sio was relieved when Adam guided her to sit on the bed instead of the floor.

"A, About...th, that battle...when you, c-c-came for me...I-I...I really was, happy...you know? I, I really wanted, t-to, see you, again..."

"...More than Asao?"

"...Wh-what...?"

Those confused maroons stared at him, a look of pain spreading across her features. "Wh, what do you...mean? I-I...I wanted to see you, _both_ of you—"

"—But who did you want to see more? Me...or, Kaoru Asao..." Every word was harder to get out than the last, the phrase sounding the most ungrateful, accusatory, exact opposite of whom he thought he was, but he _had_ to know. If she really loved him...or Asao.

Sio sat there, a stunned look on her tear-streaked face, but now eyeing him with a gaze he wasn't sure quite how to interpret. "...Why, are you asking me this...now...how, I don't understand...!"

Adam grit his teeth. Of course she wouldn't understand...otherwise why else would he be feeling so tortured, dredging up possibly one of the thorniest questions in one of the worst situations ever.

"...I know you care about me, and that I'm important to you. But, so is Asao...isn't she?"

"I, I..." With a desperate cry Sio threw herself onto the bed, sobbing while Adam looked on in despair. "A-Are you saying, y-you don't, th-think I-I...I, care about, you?"

 _No. Not quite_. Perhaps the most straightforward way was to just say it, consequences be damned. "...Sio, do you...love me?" Her breath caught mid-hiccup and he could see her eyes starting to change with understanding, but he plowed forward anyway. "I know; I've never said anything before—neither of us have—and hell, maybe this is way too late t' be admitting it, but...I love you, Sio Ogura. And I mean that...in every sense of the word."

Even with her sobs, the room seemed to have quieted until you could hear a pin drop. She simply stared, her expression changing and tears falling again, but somehow Adam had a feeling she now knew exactly what he was trying to say.

"I-I'm...I'm _sorry_...! Sorry...I, I..." For a second Adam felt his stomach drop, his pulse increasing until each beat was painful as the anxiety consumed everything. The next few words out of her mouth...he both needed yet dreaded them.

 _I'm sorry, but I don't like you that way._

 _I can't love you back._

 _Asao needs me more._

Would it all be for nothing? These feelings he'd nurtured for so long; sure he vehemently denied them at first when the flicker of realization came about, that she always seemed to be on his mind despite his self-justifying claim that it was only because she was a newbie, and always got in his way so of course he noticed her. It was true neither of them ever confessed anything, not even a simple "are we or aren't we" confirmation, but hadn't the kiss atop the hospital roof that night been enough? Perhaps he'd been too cocky in assuming she felt the same as him; maybe she misinterpreted his actions and simply thought he was playing around with her, or maybe she changed her mind after all this time?

"I...I, made you wait until, n-n-now...f, for me to...tell you but," Sio let out a shuddering sigh, wiping away the last tears before looking right into his eyes, "I, love you, too...Adam...I mean it..."

The room seemed to spin a little, even though he hadn't moved a muscle. There were too many emotions colliding with each other in his head: euphoria, relief, disbelief, confusion and guilt... But the words, they were real, right? So she did feel the same after all...and yet, this fear that somehow she misunderstood, because how could she possibly love someone like him back—

"...You...you're, really serious? Even though—"

"—Did you think that, I...I liked Asao instead?" To his surprise, despite the tears on her face Sio now wore an expression of slight contempt. "Did you really think I would take something like our first, kiss, _my_ first real kiss...so lightly? That I only hung out with you, played video games together, talked about our lives and how I feel, just to lead you on like that...do you really think of me as that type of person?"

Her expression shifted from despair to a mask of pain and betrayal, and Adam wasn't sure which one was worse. He knew going in this conversation would get real messy, real quick; discussing their commitment to one another, after an incredibly complicated, life-or-death situation, was probably one of the worst things he could have chosen after they reunited. And yet the unease in his heart...if he didn't say them now, before they turned into resentment...

"...No; I know you're not that type of person, Sio. But, from my eyes...sometimes, it's hard to tell whom you care for, more. Who's actually worth your time and feelings, and who's just...someone you call on when you need something." Even as her pained looks twisted a hole in his heart, the need to lay his feelings bare overwhelmed the guilt. "You always talk about how important Asao is to you; how you, joined DOGOO partly because you felt it was your duty to protect her. Hell, every single defining moment in your life so far...it's all been because of her, hasn't it?" His mouth pulled back into a grimace; as much as Adam didn't want to blame a person on their deathbed, there was no denying that the whole reason Sio suffered from an out-of-control e-egene and its subsequent consequences was because of that girl. "Maybe I'm being the selfish one here, and you know what, maybe I don't deserve anything at all...but would it be so much to ask for even just a minute of your time, to know I can talk with you freely, instead of always being pushed to the side?"

"I...y-you...it's not...it's not like that!" She was sobbing again, but determined to make herself clear. "I-It's...it's true, that Asao is important...maybe more than just a friend...b-but, my relationship with her...e, even though I can't explain it well...it's, it's not the same as how I feel about you!" Gasping for breath, Sio twisted the sheets between her fingers, willing herself to remain focused even though all she wanted to do was to scream and cry until nothing was left. "If...if you asked me, who I loved...that would be you, Adam. Asao-san...is my dear, precious friend...of course she's going to be important to me. Her support, trust, and understanding...I'll always treasure that type of connection I have with her. But you...you make me feel...a-all sorts of emotions and things I've...never felt before. New things. Passionate things. Nervous things. It scared me at first...I-I didn't know what was going on or, or what to even do...but, eventually I knew...even if, I didn't know what this feeling was, I wanted...to be with you. So p-please, don't...don't go thinking that I...I don't love you back...that's not, that's not true at all!"

The look Sio was giving him would've driven the old Adam to his knees by now, begging for forgiveness, but the present Adam finally knew what it was Mirza had been trying to say. "I know; I know that, now...and, I'm...glad to hear you feel the same way I do." To his surprise the last word came out as a tremble, his voice threatening to crack the more he spoke. "And I'm sorry it had to take something this awful for me to finally tell you...because I'm such an insecure bastard, I can't even trust my own feelings, let alone yours...so I was afraid, that maybe this was all just in my head..."

A tear slid down, then another and another, but Adam didn't bother wiping them. Now he felt sick with remorse, what with Sio's own look of anguish and hearing her own tortured pleas. Why did things between them always have to be so complicated and messy; how was it they could never truly tell the other how they felt until confronted with a crisis? What he wouldn't give for a normal moment between them, just once. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make you feel so terrible...but I had to know...because I'm always afraid...that I'm the only one in love..."

The bed shifted as Adam sat down, pinching the bridge of his nose in a half-hearted attempted to stem the tears. The silence seemed even more strained if possible, as both holders ruminated in silence over the others' words, punctuated occasionally by deep sighs or else a hiccup. Mirza had emphasized the importance of being honest; but as he sat there, letting the tears drip down onto the sheets, Adam wondered if it had been the best course of actions. Maybe he should've waited until they were both calmer; maybe he shouldn't have worded it in such an accusatory manner...but deep down, he knew it wouldn't have worked. When it came to matters of the heart between the two of them, things never went as planned.

Suddenly the mattress sunk deeply, Adam looking up in surprise as Sio crawled her way over, before stopping just next to his hand. "...You know, I was afraid too. Afraid that you were just playing around with me, and once you met someone better I'd be forgotten." She gave him a bit of a sarcastic grimace, eyes still not meeting his but instead wandering around the room. "But eventually...I started to think maybe I was wrong. That you weren't like those typical guys who hook up with the first girl they see; that despite your tough-guy, lone-wolf act, you're really kind inside. You try to do the right thing even if you don't always know how to show it; you're not the best at sweet-talking or compliments or even saying thank you," Adam winced slightly at her words, "but to me...that's what makes you _you_. I realized...I appreciate your honesty...because you always tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear. Like right now," she whispered, finally turning her gaze towards him with her own tear-stained face, "it made me realize...that I've been incredibly selfish. Th-that, I've been taking your feelings...for granted," she choked out, a fresh wave of tears starting up but Adam wiped them up this time.

"Wh, when you came for me...I really was happy, you know? Th-that you came when I needed you the most...s, s-s-so, I...I didn't mean to...ignore you over Asao...! That's not...what I meant at all!" Sio shook her head in despair, wanting to crawl under a rock and just disappear with shame. "I know it sounds lame, b-but...when you showed up, I knew you were safe; that you were okay, s-so I thought, we can always talk later...but Asao-san—" She looked at him helplessly, as if trying to send him her feelings even though it was what Adam suspected all along. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I-I, didn't think you'd...be so hurt by it..."

"...I didn't think so either, but guess we were both wrong," he offered her a half-smile, one hand slowly curling around her fingers as she opened her palm to his touch. "Oh Sio...well, at the very least we both understand everything, now," he sighed, suddenly drained from the emotional overload. Strange how quickly his feelings could change, going from fear to anger to relief and even content in the entire span of an hour. Mirza was right; they really needed to be better about this whole communication issue, if they wanted to avoid anymore future emotional whiplash. "Seriously, what I wouldn't give to just have one single, non-messy, non-complicated moment with you...or at least one that doesn't involve both of us breaking down."

"Heh...you're telling me," Sio murmured, still not sure how to feel about everything. "I think our entire relationship is made up of messy, awkward moments...but, I guess that's what makes it special, too. Don't you think...there's something to be said that, we're still together...even after all this?"

He nodded, fingers continuing to caress her digits and now Sio shifted so she was leaning against him, Adam cautiously circling one arm around her shoulders and, when she didn't pull away, pulled her close and on automatic she buried herself against his chest; nuzzling furiously as he couldn't help but laugh a bit at how her hair tickled, despite his tears.

"You have no idea how much I've missed this..." he sighed deeply, running a hand through her silken strands. "Gods, it feels so good to hold you again..."

"Me too," a muffled voice came up from his chest, where she was currently buried. "When you hold me like this...it, always makes me feel safe...like I belong here..."

Adam didn't say anything, only tightening his grip and the girl responding in kind. To know he was the one to make her feel safe and secure...a deep sense of affection coursed through him as they both sat in a now-comfortable silence.


End file.
